You may still be asking: "How am I going to communicate so that I can have confidence that my needs will be heard?"; "How am I going to be fair and able to hear things that may be difficult to hear?"
I can keep a balance between three modes:
When I hear someone say something, my chosen response may involve:
When we hear needs we find ourselves in "a place beyond right & wrong doing". Is that the place where you would like to meet?
Good luck with Communicating your Needs, hearing theirs and optimising the outcome. (Have you considered asking for 'someone to help me'?) (How about a 2 day training to develop your understanding of each person's needs and strategies i.e. an NVC foundation course?)
Thank you for spending time with CommunicatingNeeds to sort it all out.